I’m somewhat of a nervous guest.
As my husband and kids will happily tell you, I get pretty stressed out before heading to events or other people’s houses. Even if those people are in my own family!
Scratch that, especially if those people are in my own family…
I know that shouldn’t be the case, but it just is. I had a lot of conflict with my parents when I was younger, and while we’re doing okay now, we don’t exactly have the most spotless ‘conversational history.’
When I was a kid, our dinner table conversations consisted of tons of judgmental remarks, unnecessary arguments, and everybody pulling the discussion in their own direction just so they could get a word in edgewise.
Now that I’m a Mom, I’m very aware of the conversation practices I’m introducing to my kids. My husband and I have taken special care to emphasize the importance of things like active listening and waiting your turn to speak.
But – as we all know too well – kids soak up bad habits like sponges, so it can feel like all that child-rearing progress goes out the window when my parents (or in-laws, for that matter…) demonstrate to my kids that it’s okay to talk over other people or make rude comments.
Thankfully, I’ve finally found a pretty great solution to this family trouble (and no, it’s not years of therapy!)
A few months ago, I heard about the Family Pack by Talking Point Cards.
The Family Pack has 200 conversation starter cards that are meant to facilitate fun and meaningful conversations among family members. So, in my quest to give my kids as good a conversation experience as possible, I bought it.
My kids loved it—and so did my husband and me. The cute blue box quickly became a mainstay on our dinner table, and we used the cards to ask the kids engaging questions and show them how great it feels to take part in interesting conversations where everyone gets to speak their minds.
In the midst of those fun and comfortable conversations, it felt like something was healing within me – like I was giving my little humans the exact kind of positive conversational experience that I missed so dearly as a child, and that I was somehow being rewarded for doing so.
Plus, these healthy and healing conversations gave me an idea for improving my own experience at family get-togethers…
You see, it really felt like part of the power of the Family Pack was in making good conversation ‘feel like a game’ (in fact, my oldest told me that’s exactly why he loved using the cards so much!)
There’s no strict rules that tell you how to play, but the format we quickly settled into was that the two most ‘involved’ roles (reading the question and answering it first) rotated around the table, but that everyone got to answer the question if they wanted to. Sometimes this meant we’d have a relatively short exchange of opinions as we went around the table, and sometimes we’d talk for over 20 minutes and get lost in a spirited discussion just over one question.
So, I thought, if I could use this conversation starter card format to help a 7-year-old and a 10-year-old have compelling, ‘grown-up style’ conversations, why couldn’t I do the same with actual grown-ups?
I brought the Family Pack along with us to my parents’ house for a Sunday dinner they were hosting. I had instructed my 7-year-old to introduce her favorite game to Grandpa and my two brothers while I helped my mom in the kitchen.
My husband and 10-year-old son were there to guide it along, but I honestly knew my daughter would explain (and enforce!) the ‘taking your turn’ and ‘no talking over each other’ rules more than well enough on her own…
They had such a good time talking with the cards that my father requested we play it all together during dinner!
My mom was hesitant at first (perhaps sensing that having us all ‘play’ a conversation game might make it a little harder for her to ‘win’ the conversation!), but she obliged… and we all had a really amazing time!
The conversation was flowing beautifully and evenly, and everyone at the table (no matter their age or loudness level) was able to speak freely.
There were a few times when certain people around the table had to be reminded to wait their turn or build on the responses of others
And I already thought there was something deeply restorative about having conversations with the cards just with my own kids and husband, but trust me when I say I quite literally felt something in me heal when my 7-year-old daughter would gently but firmly remind my 71-year-old mother that she had to give other people more space to talk!
These Are So Much More than Conversation Starter Cards…
The Family Pack has given me SO much more than just an easy and fun way to have great conversations with the people I love.
Now, I bring these cards every time we go to a family get-together. Having the Family Pack just allows me to relax and have more fun, because I know it’s a super easy (and now, super popular!) way to get even the most ‘enthusiastic’ conversationalists in my family to give each other a chance to talk in a calmer and healthier way.
And the cards haven’t just created a one-off activity that has helped me enjoy my extended family’s company a little more, I’ve noticed that it’s actually given us all great ‘practice’ at sharing in the discussion more.
Since our first couple of times having conversations with the cards (and with the help of my daughter’s persistent reminders!) I’ve notice my Mom become more restrained, my Dad being less judgmental, and my brothers doing a better job of listening to what I have to say.
… Which might be about 28 years too late, but it’s better late than never!
The Review is In: You Need to Get the Family Pack!!!
The Family Pack was my first experience with conversation starter cards, and I don’t think I’ll ever need to try anything other than Talking Point Cards.
Not only have these cards given my little family countless hours of meaningful fun, but they’ve also quite literally helped me mend a broken part of myself.
By making good conversation feel like a game, the Family Pack empowered actual communication between me and my family members – something that I had come to accept was basically impossible.
So for all these reasons, I am highly recommending that you go and try the Talking Point Cards Family Pack for yourself!!!
